Friday, August 7, 2009

Dream Weaving



TinnieGirl is hosting a celebratory giveaway* and the only catch is that to enter, you need to leave a comment describing your dream. There I am, with the comment thingy up and ready to go (and there is a really nice birdy stencilled painting on offer) and at that point TinnieGirl marches me into the Room of Mirrors. Do I even have a dream? I used to have a dream. Fifteen years ago I was plotting to overtake the graphic design omniverse. Somewhere along the way, I stopped glamourising all-nighters and delegation and administration and started making decisions based on my response to: “will I regret this when I’m sixty?”. Back then, sixty seemed old. For reasons of necessity I’ve nudged that up to ninety, but the theory remains the same.

I don’t have any dreams for big, tangible things. Should I have? I have lots of hopes. Stuff like kids growing up to be resilient adults, comfortable in their own skins. Oh, and for the Mr and I to eventually find more time for the ‘us’ and to not go out for dinner to a lonely fish and chippery along the beautiful St Ives coast in England to eat chips and mushy peas** with sauce in squirty packets at a wobbly formica table while staring blandly over each other’s shoulders and not speaking once – like the seventy-ish couple I saw in the summer of 2001. I hope that even when the Mr and I are that creaky, we opt for the takeaway version and bury our feet in the sand – even it it does mean fending off the feistiest gulls south of the Arctic while arguing over whose turn it is for the crispiest bit of fish.

I don’t seem to spend any dreaming or even waking moments visualising the perfect house on top of a mountain (although I love a nice spot of architecture perched on a hilly bit) and I don’t seem to lust after great fortunes (although I don’t wish to nervously count my pennies or not go to the latest Amitié sale*** if I desperately need a something for an as yet unidentified project). It may well be that I’m a bit busy with the now. Or it could be that I don’t spend enough time gazing up at the sky pondering which direction I could fly.

* You have until Sunday, Cinderella time
** The Mr says, for the record, that he misses mushy peas
*** On now, today, even as I type – until 8pm

14 comments:

Tinniegirl said...

I hope the random number generator picks you after that effort.

Nothing wrong with living in the now. It's the best place to be.

dillpickle said...

Sometimes the dream IS living in the now. Having small people of your own makes the now so much more important - there are so many moments in the present that would be missed if we spent more time living for the Next Big Thing. I also think that little people can change the dream - things that were significant BC are no longer priorities, or at least can be enthusiastically popped on hold to be reviewed later. Maybe. And that's OK :-)

One Flew Over said...

Ahhh the English seaside, complete with vinegar chips hmmm sounds pretty darn good to me!

CurlyPops said...

I have extremely weird sleeping dreams (way too embarrassed to blog about them), but I really don't have any dreams for the future. I have trouble thinking a month ahead at most times.

Anne-Lise at Rag, Tag, Bobtail said...

Gosh, just had the same block when going to comment... Being in the NOW is the BIG thing these days - so good for you. Don't need to worry until you are only in the past! Wouldn't mind joining up for the fish and chips ... mmmmm

beck said...

Dreams are so five minutes ago ..who needs them? But seriously I know what you mean about being in the now, (isn't there a book about that...?) You seem to make a lot of dreamy things happen anyway, such as extremely cool frogs, amazing clothes, adorable mice...etc etc. Now, back to me...what am I dreaming of.....hmmm....?

Nikki said...

I think the dreams for you and your family are as valid as any dreams.... and who needs dreams for material things?

BTW - I have a similar horror-image of a couple sitting in a non-descript pub in Swansea (Wales) not having anything to say to one another. It always haunts me.

SmitoniusAndSonata said...

Dreams for the future ? Apart from all the World Peace and a stop to Global Warming , you mean , I suppose .
Well , I'm now in my sixties , so being 70 or 80 begins to seem quite desirable . I think I'd like to know all there is to know about something ( anything really , as long as it's not Company Law or compound interest ) and be as grown up as everyone else ..... or to be able to take to the dance floor with flair and sparkle ....

Gina said...

Beautiful, poignant reflections. Same reason I have yet to enter the giveaway... but you'e helped me to clarify. Thanks T. Dream small :-)

mrs smith said...

You write beautifully. It's a bittersweet state for many of us - living in the now with the small ones, investing in in this time so that they can dream their dreams too. I am sure our dreaming time will come.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing. You've put words to the exact situation I am in at the moment as well....but I couldn't even manage the words! :-)

Mel said...

Tania you just have the most amazing ability to capture your thoughts in writing without it sounding like navel gazing - perhaps that would be my dream for myself!

I think perhaps you are living your dream right here, right now!

--ginger. said...

I think more and more my Dreams are about Becoming and not as much about Doing. But I know this makes me sound like a poorly-paid life coach. Dangit. I really meant it too.

Madeline said...

I think living in the now is the biggest and best of dreams.