Saturday, February 6, 2010
Mwah ha ha h... Sorry. Straight face.
I have been evil. It was so good. Whichever clever lady we were listening to, the day ABC Radio were chatting long haul car journeying with kids, I’m high fiving in her general direction.
Instead of the large package of suggested chocolate frogs, we started our journey with the presentation of a bag of confectionary snakes. It was explained to the anklebiters that these were ALL – every single wriggly – FOR THEM (cue: widening eyes). To scoff in haste or at leisure, upon arrival home (cue: faintly worried check confirming Mum and Dad had entirely misplaced faculties). The catch? Every time anyone whinged, bickered or even shot the Evil Eye, a snake flew out the window. Mwah ha haa...ahem.
It worked a treat. Mostly because the therapeutic value to be had in snake-out-window tossing is empowering beyond measure. It means Mum can calmly crochet without so much as uttering a nagging word, while kids, aghast over snake cruelty, pull into rank and talk nicely to each other. A couple of times there were yells of protest. Another snake grew wings.
Upon arrival home, Mum and Dad still looked like they had been on holidays and each kid claimed their winnings. A measly one and a third snakes each. They ate them slowly. Discussed how next time, they would be SO good they would have the entire packet. Grin.
PS. I realise there are all kinds of evil at work here. For instance, are confectionary snakes biodegradable? Questionable. Is it unsafe to lob things from a moving car? Unquestionable (we were very careful). The solution I am working on here is sleight of hand. The Mr ate every snake the kids thought he threw out the window.
PPS. There is another option – another clever lady who rang up ABC Radio with her suggestion. As I remember things, she paid each of her three children ‘holiday’ money every half hour they behaved in the car. One child always went to sleep and to him she paid double. When the other kids complained that he wasn’t even trying because he was asleep she told them that if they nodded off they would get double too. Now she goes on holiday with one sleeping child in the back of the car and two pretending. Sometimes it takes a whole lot of evil to achieve a whole car load of good.