Tuesday, February 16, 2010

When The Small Doormat Becomes a Handbag



I KNEW I was taking things too far, but it made me grin and I didn’t want to stop, so that officially makes this Irony Craft, which means I get to hold on to the vestige of dignity.

Hang on! Who am I kidding? Any dignity vestige or remaining street cred scrap, fled over the horizon the moment I smuggled the crochet hook in to the chic bar. In my defence, the pals were typically late. And I’m just not talented at the ‘waiting gaze’ (indifferent but sultry but offhand but intelligent stare into middle distance).

’Course the experimental, big string, knitting-without-looking, can easily revert to doormat – or better yet, to doing what string does best (tying stuff). I have pondered popping along to some dance club for a boogie* and throwing my knitted number into the middle of one of those girls-dancing-in-a-circle-phenomenon things – just to see if it holds it’s own in Bagworld. There are some tiny holes drilled into the handles/knitting needles to avoid dropped stitchery and the points are sanded right back to avoid eye gougery. So, you know, it’s somewhat feasible.

Alternatively, there is the low-key irony option: the Knitted Knitting Bag.




* An event that has not occurred since back when people said ‘boogie’.

PS. It weighs a tonne.

PPS. It also, inexplicably, smells like cow poo. Albeit in a pleasant, ‘don’t you love the smell of the country?’ fashion.

PPPS. For this reason, I am yet to tackle irony outings involving enclosed space.

31 comments:

One Flew Over said...

Next time I am waiting at a trendy nightspot I will ensure that I have my hook at the ready...

Oh, hang on...I no longer get to frequent hip, happening bars. that was in my past life, BC.

PS: Great knitting bag.

crzylady said...

LOL fabulous!

Champagne/StitchPoet said...

This is great! BAR KNITTERS UNITE! I've been seen EVERYWHERE with mine needles in tow... Folks wonder what's wrong with me if I don't pull out something to stitch while waiting... or not waiting for that matter... Wonder if the new law of texting & driving will include knitting...hmmm I'm in big trouble! You need to make my "Chip Bag!" You can't make just one! http://champagnemaker.blogspot.com/2008/02/super-size-it.html
vovov hugs and stitches!

Nikki Cardigan said...

Find a way to lose the cow poo smell (you don't need to be attracting any cowboys) and use it... it is AWESOME. Those knitting needles look waaaay cool.

PS. I actively choose NOT to comment on the fact you used the word boogie!

Sally said...

That bag is totally rad!

thornberry said...

Tania that is so cool! I love the bag and am trying to figure out how to do a crocheted version, but having a bag hanging off one loop wouldn't be quite the same...

CurlyPops said...

You just never know who you might attract with a bag that smells like cow poo!

SmitoniusAndSonata said...

The new must-have accessory , though I do hope not for travellers on busy city commuter trains . Just think of all the jabbing knitting needles on would have to fend off .
I'd forgotten how that string smelled !

Leonie Guld said...

Can't speak...pissing my self laughing!!! Nothing like a good cow poo sented bag!!!!

Umatji said...

that is great! We all need one. I have loads of bags that smell odd. Most made out bush by old ladies wehn I lived there but a few odd smelling ones of my own, but wait, that could be mainly because of something slowly composting in the bottom...

Sandrine said...

:) it will be a trend setting knitted knitting bag for sure!

Fran said...

love it, and the irony!

zofia said...

Fabulous!! :D

Ann Marie said...

If you master the my-my-doesn't-the-person-next-to-me-smell-like-cow-poo look, you could take it out in public. It's too great a bag not to.

Mel said...

I say we need to reclaim the word boogie! What's wrong with it?

And being the trendsetter you are you know it won't be long before the hip and happenin' crowd are all sporting your super cool cow-poo smelling, string bags and gettin' hooky wid it in da clubs.

Oh my god I can't believe I just wrote that ... feel free to disown me

june at noon said...

Hmmm, I've got some string that smells like poo too. I keep ignoring it, hoping it will air out, but it's yet to happen.

I love, love the bag. It has such a nice, chunky look to it, and perfect for bar/disco knitting!

Kylie said...

Love it! Crochet Queen - I'm sure you held your own in fashionable bar... Just wait, next week they'll all be hooking and you can quite naturally affect your indifferent sultry gaze as the trend setter ;) Kx

p.s. I still like the word boogie :)

flowerpress said...

Love it!

Mama Mogantosh said...

I don't know how it would fly in a young persons discoteque, but I love it...so i know that it is Girl Pretty and Guy Ugly.. like many things I love (cardigans, whimsy, cats-eye glasses..) and my husband just sees as nanna-wear. I do want to be seen by him as attractive - that's the problem! Whay can't he find kniited handbags and bird-brooches sexy? Why?

I don't know the solution.

peppermintpatcher said...

I love it! Perhaps becuase I can only see it and not smell it? Fill it with tissues dripped with lavendar oil, see if that does the trick.

Cherie said...

Fabulous ... love the bag, the story, the everything ... you're a gorgeous classic ;)

Nikki said...

I love a good bag, me.... especially of the witty, knitty, brim-full-of irony type. Cow poo smell I can take or leave. Perhaps leave.... although I grew up on a farm so could probably handle it (so to speak).


I think I'll shut up now and go back to writing instructions.

PottyMouthMama said...

OH. MY. GOODNESS! I freaking LOVE IT. You are one clever chicita. This is beautiful. It is so fabulous. I don't care what it smells like. It is a fabulous creation. You never cease to amaze me.

Hayley Egan said...

You are the funniest knitter in Melbourne, if not the world. X

Anna Bartlett said...

Geez, I love it too. It's that warm feeling inside that hugs the fact that once this thing didn't exist, and now it does, and YOU MADE IT. And because you made it you'll use it and love it no matter what it smells like! - been there, baby.

Gina said...

Nice bag!!!!
(Yep, that's it, your post was just too funny and eloquent and I like the bag so much in all its ironic-and-manurey-glory that I don't even know what to say in the comments).
But truly, rooly, I loves that bag!

kellyi said...

I took my knitting on holiday with me and Husband was unsure about sitting in the sports bar with my and my needles.

The cow poo smell is a weird one.

We are off to Oxford in two weeks - isn't that your old haunt? Any child friendly meal options?

Stomper Girl said...

That is such a cool bag, I would totally overlook the smell thing!

Fer said...

There's been many a time when I've wanted to take my knitting to the pub, the only reason why I don't is because I forget.....

Having said that it has come with me to the chiropractors waiting room - I've found socks are very good for this!

The knitted knitting bag rocks!

Cath @ chunkychooky said...

I love the bag!!!I am glad to see a fellow crafter who cannot stand to sit still and wait... if i don't have something to stitch I am sketching ideas in my little notebook I carry everywhere. I cannot stand idle hands.
I can't remember the last time I watched tv without sewing at the same time! (and its so not dial up)

mallorymurray said...

Oh my gosh, I just found your blog and I love it. I love your projects and you are hilarious!