Tuesday, May 18, 2010

The Curse of the ‘Yeah, But...’



The weekend that was, was a rocky affair. And not just because the middle kid refused to sit down when the whole family went for a row, (in lots of circles), on the Yarra River at Studley Park on Sunday. In between that and the crafty Sew It Together-ing* on Saturday, there was much persuasion of the migration kind going on in my household.

On a positive note, it seems the Mr and I have made some healthy steps toward conflict resolution. Throw us in the same situation five years ago and things would have been a whole heck more stormy, feisty, rock-the-boat. As it was, there was a whole lot of ‘it’ll-be-wonderful’ (from the Mr) and a whole truck load of ‘Yeah, but...’ (from me).



The eldest of four, I was always going to be the one doing the ‘responsible’. Eldest-responsible was boring growing up, same as it is now. The Mr sees moving to the country and fresh air and space and workshops and the idyllic thing. I see changing schools and leaving a community and isolation and bush fires and expenses and second cars (and fresh air and space and workshops and studios and the idyllic thing) but actually, I'm just not really sure. I am aware that I often tread a fine line: doing the responsible versus forsaking the chutzpah.



A telling sign that my chutzpah is off on it’s own little world cruise, is that the camera did not come with me into the row boat. Which I regret. Sometimes you take a teensy risk and you get some fab pics of fun first-ever kid rows. Sometimes you take a much bigger risk and wonder WHAT THE HELL TOOK YOU SO LONG.



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* I’m leaving the excellent Sew It Together reportage in the capable hands of others, except to admit that I probably managed a concerted thirty minutes crafting over the entire day. It was never that much about the craft, right? I did want to direct my hearty thanks to the SIT sponsors for those fabulous goodie bags and giveaways and to Sheridan for the supreme organisation and her own SHEER CHUTZPAH IN DREAMING THE WHOLE THING UP IN THE FIRST PLACE.

28 comments:

kellyi said...

Do you know what? We are under negotiation here too. Every one but me is hell bent on moving to the country RIGHT NOW. I, like you, see loss of community, extra petrol expense (we already have two cars - if you can call my rust bucket a car) and long, lonesome winters.

I am also the eldest - and I think you always have the responsible gene, which can, at times, suck.

Lola Nova said...

I love the photos you managed to capture! I too am the "Yeah but..." voice in our family. Sometimes it is the voice of reason, other times I'm just a pain in the neck :)

Madeline said...

Moving is always full of hard stuff, but the whole fresh air and plenty of space thing...I would jump on that. But, I'm sort of a fresh air and plenty of space girl.

pocketfirecracker said...

I haven't commented before, but I wanted to tell you I loved this post. A lot of my weekends end up reorganizing to get crafty or just putting down the fabric and doing something with the kids. I miss our bigger yard where I could let the kids out to roam more and now more in the city I can't do that. Good luck with the decision making!
<3
Steph

SmitoniusAndSonata said...

You'll have a lot more negotiating to do , probably , before you're agreed . What was simpler for two can be a lot different for five . Good luck with it all .
Meanwhile , I envy your craft-along and am sure you achieved wonders in your "half-hour" . Sounds a lovely day and a lot more productive than mine !

Amanda said...

Yep, oldest of 4 here as well. Not to mention the "head of household" most often then not. Hope that conflict is met with a perfect agreement between the two of you. I always dread those situations. But they are part of life I suppose. Love your pictures and sounds like a great adventure even if a bit chaotic. No stranger to that either ha :)

Angus in Northcote said...

After your last post, I freaked the PhD-hermit out by looking at Castlemaine properties, Castlemaine schools (incl NAPLAN scores) and Castlemaine train timetables.

We couldn't do it, but was impressed with how eminently do-able it seemed to be for those with peripatetic employment and a hankering for Steiner.

Here's my two cents: once you've gone, you've gone. Castlemaine will definitely become a "population hub" as Victoria's population grows and sensible use of rain water tanks and public transport should solve most problems BUT you'll never be able to buy back in to Melbourne real estate.

Don't let that stop you, though.

Do some user testing.

Stage 1: rent a house for a school holiday. Take your bikes. See what it's like just 'living in the village'.

If that works out well then

Stage 2: rent a house for a whole year. Rent out the place in Melbourne, buy yourself a $5000 extra car (I'd recommend a ute) and do a whole year.

If that works out well then

Stage 3: buy the fantastic house.

As far as the Mister is concerned, he's already made the big move; this is just one small extra step.

Now we've got the heavy stuff out of the way I've only got two more nouns for you.

Boyfriend. Hat.

Cath @ chunkychooky said...

ha! You know I am going to say DO IT! The sense of community is huuuge in the country and there are so many advantages for kids I cannot even begin ot tell you!
It is a big move and the first bit is hard, until you find your gang... but it is by far the best thing I ever did.

AND- you really do have a spotlight voodoo doll!!! you are hilarious!!!

Stomper Girl said...

I do the oldest child responsible bit too, and sometimes I think it's great to be forced out of my comfort zone to take on something new. I'd be like you worrying about schools and friends too. I reckon that Angus' two cents worth is good advice though!

CurlyPops said...

Oh wow what a dilemma... I've always been the responible one too (although 2nd eldest), and there are so many things that I've kicked myself over because I didn't just throw caution to the wind and 'do it'.
You never know - it could be a completely magical life change!

Little Ted Canvas said...

It's such a massive decision to make. We did it 5 years ago but our kids were much smaller so it wasn't as difficult for them. But it sure is a scary thing to move away from family, friends, community & all that you know. We decided to do it as a short term thing for hubby's work, but we totally fell in love with this life & there is no going back now! Every now & then a career move raises it's ugly head & I get so anxious & unsettled, but we both know this is where we want to be, for our kids to have this great life & be a part of this wonderful community. It was hard in the beginning but oh so worth it...

Liesl said...

"Yeah but" is my mantra. I sometimes say it prophylacticly (and completely out of context). I need to ... I know the mister has designs on one day shifting this brood to the mother country. I keep telling him he's got Buckleys, but the colonial reference is lost on my Englishman.

Good luck!

(And beautiful pics)

Sue said...

What a lot of advice you're getting. After 28 years in one 'burbs house we moved 360kms from the city. Left the family, friends and cultural events behind. Found ourselves, space, fresh air and workshops. We will return to the city one day but for now it's a country experience and it's there to be experienced. Part of becoming a wiser old lady!
If it feels right do it!

Michelle said...

Good luck with the decision making. Something must be in the air because the Mr came home here last night and asked how I felt about moving to Perth!!!!

Fer said...

I've got the latest Country Style and so many of the houses are the owners 'weekenders'. So daaarrrling, you MUST get yourself a little place in the country where you can duck off to and leave the city stresses behind. :D

crzylady said...

Change terrifies me. Moving is an awfully big change... good and bad, but rather terrifying I say.

Nikki said...

I'm a bit of a "What the Heck, I'll move to the country... or another country" kind of girl, but can understand your "Yeah, but...". The reality of it all will mean a lot of upheaval. It always does.

Sorry I didn't get to have much of a chat on Saturday. Anytime you need an ear....

Sandrine said...

Oh I hear you very well!!Moving...My eldest told me the other day that she has never been in the same school for more than two years...and that was right!Moving and settling somewhere are for sure drawing on very different skills...
Moving is still in our daily agenda...but now I try and think about why in the first place do I need to move,and we need to move?
What is it that I/we am running away from ?;)
But I am way too much of a "Too responsible thinker" :)
So hope you all find your best scenario!X

Frog, Goose and Bear said...

i've had to move around a lot with my husband's work and we've lived in quite a few country places. In most instances we were only there for 6 months and I am still in contact with people from all of the places that we lived in. I found it so much quicker and easier to feel a part of things and to form a little community around me in the country than I did in the city. Although I am enjoying Melbourne, I would move to the country any day! I should add that I grew up on a farm outside a very small country town, so maybe it is in my blood. All the best in your decision making. At least you know your online community will be there regardless of where you live!

flowerpress said...

But everyone knows its the middle children who shoulder all the responsibility!
Good luck with your decision, that's a toughie!

Andi said...

On a purely selfish note .... please don't move to the country now that I've found you!
Andi :-)

PS Isn't 'chutzpah' the bestest word ever?

Leonie Guld said...

Bush is good....you might just like it! I'm 7 years down in our tree change....bloody good Idea it was too xx

trash said...

Oooo! I got married there. My wedding pics were taken on that bridge!

Little Munchkins said...

I am of the 'Yeah, but' category too. I usually like to stay in my comfy zone, though I have made some changes when I needed too.

Good luck with whatever your decision is :)

Corrie said...

oh no how did I miss you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I would have loved to have met you but obviously didn't work the room enough!

Corrie;)

Michelle said...

Oh huge...
I would be a tad worried too...
But now I live in the country I love it...
I do miss things...Like "big" shops...
and I really don't like begin really remote...like miles from your neigbours...luckerly I am not.
I hate that my groceries are expensive...
and can't just drive to a friends house...it's 3 hours away...

But I love that I have chooks, a vegie patch, I yard...
and the kids feel safe...
I love that I drive down the street and I wave at least 5 times in 500 mtr...and love that I can spend time just walking around town and know that I will not be mugged...
I do think sometimes it is good to get a feel for a place first thou...
Maybe staying a few weekends and seeing if it's your cup of tea...
Regards my dear...

Nycole said...

Gorgeous pics as always!
Sounds like very exciting times - we regularly have the 'moving (back) to the country conversation' (it's Bendigo for us, ironically Castlemaine is too $$!), and we actually both agree on the IDEA, it's just the 'making it happen' bit. It feels like stepping off solid ground onto a rickety old bridge, which is scary but probably ultimately good for your balance(!)
From a kid perspective, we moved from city to country when I was 10, and it worked out great.

prashant said...

I love the photos you managed to capture!
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