Sunday, May 2, 2010

Gizmos, Lergies and Dortjes



Somewhere in the 80s, my granny acquired a new fangled gizmo, whereby one could sit on a padded bench, strap one’s feet into giant clamps and in an initially unnerving leap of faith, sweep arms over head, swinging one’s body 180 degrees backwards to bat (hanging-upside-down-by-feet) position. I Googled ‘hang upside down by feet thing’ and this is precisely what I am wittering on about.

Never certain of the aim of the exercise, I do remember spending long parts of hours pondering an upside down world, aiming to grow taller. At 153cm, I have always assumed that this didn’t work, although it has just occurred to me, that perhaps it did. If it did and, perish the thought, I never happened across a Hang Upside Down By Feet Thing, then it’s possible that kids even younger than twelve would tower over me today. I also recollect a series of challenges associated with upside down drinking through a straw.

Right now I’d give many things to hang upside down on one such gizmo and stretttttttttttttttch. This spine is twisted in one big scoliotic ‘S’ bend because there’s a miserable ‘MAMA-I-GOD-A-SNODDY-NOZE’ toddler in the house. There’s been a whole lot of carrying and snuggling and cuddling and managing temperatures and green noses by day and a whole lot of the same, only horizontally, by night. My world has been reduced to achieving the basics, which is why, Mr Tax Man, my statement was late, why we have watched Mary Poppins seven times (I owe you N), why there is a floordrobe stretching throughout the house, why it’s mashed potato and, hmm, something else for dinner tonight.

Enough snivelling.

Except to add that there is no greater joy than the spontaneous waking from wet toddler sneeze shot from short range into one’s face.

Before the arrival of toddler ‘woe is me’ I finished those Dortje trousers. Either the eight year old has extraordinary resilience or her shrug of resignation was borne from past experience and lowered expectation. Either way she didn’t score any new trousers.

Her mother, oh non-reader of any recipe in advance, was never going to read page 45 of Sewing Clothes Kids Love before diving straight into Dortje instruction on page 95. Hence, aforementioned mother never did add the seam allowance before cutting out the fabric pieces and once sewn together, aforementioned trousers never would fit aforementioned eight year old. I have little doubt they would have been perfection on the six year old boy kid, but he said he would “rather travel to Mars and breathe in noxious gases and float around in space to infinity”, than touch ’em, let alone try ’em on.

Which is obviously why fate provided me with my youngest ‘surprise’ girl-child:









Who, two hours after playground roadtesting trousers, endearingly sneezed the beginnings of her lergy straight in my face.

34 comments:

beccasauras said...

Heehee I forgot to add seam allowances too, and read that page! And just a tip- sew the seam THEN overlock for corduroy- see my Fri post if you want to know why! They are so cute, love the colour, too. Poor snotty girl.

katiecrackernuts said...

Bless you (in response to the sneeze).

zofia said...

Yay, the Dortjes fit someone! Such aceness should not go to waste. Hugs for the poor sick one and hooray for Mary Poppins, that movie works to cheer me too ;)
Hope the sneezes retreat somewhat tomorrow.
Better get busy with that 8 year old pair...my 8 year old is still waiting for some long-time coming boardies...maybe next summer!

craftschmaft.com said...

Too funny Tania, I'm going to steal that "floordrobe" expression that so aptly describes the state of my house most days. Hope the small is feeling better soon - how could she not in such lovely accidental trousers.

m.e (Cathie) said...

since first reading about the floordrobe I have discovered that sometimes (well most times) that is what happens here aswell.
we too have a sick 4 yr old, so snotty noses & coughs a plenty, which of course did not stop her in the park today.
hope your cute little dortjes wearing girl is better soon.

A Peppermint Penguin said...

Gesundheit.

Guarisce presto.

With sympathy.

And the trousers are gorgeous.

Cheers,
AJ

Nikki said...

In case you are getting deleriously tired and your decision making abilities are that of said sick 2 year old, DO NOT listen to Mary's advice that a spoonful of sugar will help. It WILL NOT help your child... or you.

Hope things get better soon. xxxx

Kate said...

Oh yeah, its snotsville of a six year old kind at ours too. YUK!
Loving the dortjes. I'm fascinated to see how the seams last after Bec's and my first attempts suffered from the same miserable, undy showing fate.
Hope your littlest feels much better soon.

Michelle said...

Hope the snotty nose is short lived and stops at one child. The pants look great, even with no seam allowance.

Megan said...

even though i am commiserating with you about your poor little sick one, i am smiling about your way with words - i do just love it. floordrobe particularly. what a wonderful word. that is definitely going to feature in my vocabulary (probably very soon due to my untidiness)
hopefully she recovers quickly, and without passing it on to you or the rest of the family. although, projectile boogies are never handy for contamination prevention...

beck said...

Oh dear, poor you! Hope things pick up asap and that the sneezy in facey stuff is no more. Cute dacks, love the colour! Sleep tight, maybe wear a balaclava...xo

CurlyPops said...

What is it with patterns that don't already have the seam allowances.... I don't get it (but then again I don't get much most days)!
Here's hoping that the snot filled sneeze doesn't invade and give you the lurgy!

Chicken Willow said...

I think I've got a floordrobe as well...although I never knew there was a special name for it! Hope the back feels better. I go to Osteopath every four weeks just to keep mine together. Pants are so cute. I've asked for that book for Mothers Day but we'll see what turns up.

Cathy {Tinniegirl} said...

Poor little tyke. I hope she feels better soon.

Those pants are gorgeous. Can you make grown up pairs?

Madeline said...

They look adorable on the youngest!

Poor kiddo, though. And, poor mama. Hope your little one is feeling better soon!

Frog, Goose and Bear said...

oh the floordrobe - classic! my youngest loves creating those.......

crzylady said...

while I feel your pain (especially the back and snot in face) I am cracking up! absolutely love this post. I can feel exasperation all mingled with love and humor emanating from my screen! Hope everyone gets into tip top shape soon (with, or without, upside down land)

Lola Nova said...

Well, the pants look fab and thank heavens they fit the little one.

I hope the lergy leaves quick smart and that you all are hale and hearty very soon.

kellyi said...

Lovely trousers and very sweet model. I have bought a book about making clothes for children and I am going to make a start for my littlest squib this week whilst my husband is away.

I am an expert in snotty noses. Someone always has one in our house. We call it "The Number Elevens". I'm sure you can work it out!

Cindy said...

Sick children are the pits. Caleb was in hysterics because he thought his eyes were not working becuase he was sneezing and sniffling so much that his eyes were watering.
I so have to get that book, it looks really good. I think the split seam in the crutch may need to be double stitched and then zig zagged or overlocked. You may need to leave a bigger seam, well bigger than not one at all.
My kiddies had peanut butter sandwiches and coco pops for last nights dinner after I fell asleep while watching some tv wit them - mother of the year I know!

garcia.mari said...

Mary Poppins is definitely a cure all. hehe she was mine many times as a kid ;) Keep it up, the cold will be over...as for the sneeze in the face, have been there. My partner once sneezed in his sleep and yup, my face was right next to his! yea for snot in the face! hehehe

Bellgirl said...

There's no dodging a lergy sneeze :( FAb strides though, it's good they've joined the floordrobe at last ;)

Fer said...

The pants looks brilliant! Pity about all that snot though....

Little Munchkins said...

I have that book too and love it. Those pants you made look fantastic!

Kylie said...

Oh I love it I love it I love it! Travelling to Mars and breathing in noxious gases is soooo fabulous - what a kid :) So much passion. I always say to my kids - I don't care what you do as long as you're passionate about it! ;) They look just fabulous and I'm sure little snotty one will get better quicker for looking so fabulous :) Kx

p.s. Thanks for being so kind to my big girl's fledgling knitting.

Leonie Guld said...

So...swing upside down hey...with bra...without bra...with runny nose..without runny nose!!

I got stuck on one of those things once. My sister thought is was a freakin great joke to keep me hanging while I couldn't reach the dam bars!!

Why are you laughing...this is not FUNNY...you have brought back serious damaging childhood memories!!

;) xx

teddybearswednesday said...

I think the dortjes are ace, and some else seems to think so.
Ah the joys of motherhood, just get more and more enticing everyday. Hope your little one feel better soon xo

june at noon said...

I just love visiting you, upside-down-body-stretcher-things and snotty noses and all. Hope your little one is on the mend and your poor spine gets some recovery time.

Mel said...

oh the snot. The close range, middle of the night sneeze. I feel your pain. Perhaps you could get the sick little'un to sneeze on your BAS?

Now the sewing mishap fitting the third child is as good a reason as any for me to reconsider a third child.

Oh and I reckon everyone must have had one of those hanging upside down things! We also had a stand still and a belt jiggles around your butt thing.

(My word verification is "bless" ;)

Sandrine said...

Goodness me I should have tried the upside down stretch theory too?!Maybe I will give it a better go at my next Yoga class...no don't tell me it is too late!
On another note I hope your runny noses get much better soon.
x

Angie said...

I'm like Leonie & remembering being kept upside down on one of those upside-down-kizmos while being tickled.......ahhhhhhhhhhh!

Oh the snot. I ducked down to the supermarket quickly the other night (I'm self-medicating with chocolate). Upon my return the Mr asks what that thing across my chest is....a snot rainbow from carrying the face-smearing-booger-boy around in the pouch all afternoon! I can only imagine how it must have gleamed under the flouro lights!

Good luck with your snot battles!

Stomper Girl said...

Gosh but she's lovely, your little sick-chick (even if she does sneeze in your face). I don't think either of my boys would have worn those pants either. They're not that keen on pink flowers, weird huh?

quirkygranolagirl said...

you have such a way with words. your sewing skills and mothering skills are definitely amazing, but i just adore how you turn a sentence and make me giggle nearly every time.

heather said...

yo!! we are the same height if google converted 153 centimeters correctly. 5 foot 1 inch. yeah? wow. i don't know many women my same height. i never hung upside down on one of those, but i did some pilates and got my last inch that way! have you tried pilates? those pants are sweet. i like the little pocket on the back that i can barely see. are the snots all gone yet?