Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Toast



Today I knew I was ‘toast’ (in the Aussie slang ‘now I’m in trouble’ definition of the word), when the toaster worked. For six months the toaster has mostly not worked but if you stand holding the toaster lever-thing down, then you can produce some toast-ish something – unless you get lost in your own wee world, forced to stand still in a non-multi-tasking fashion and end up burning the stuff. So while mostly not working, the toaster has functioned just enough for me to stave off contributing to Landfill Mountain and the avoid-at-all-costs trip to one of those awful homewares stores. Plus we’re all likelier to grab an instant gratification apple, rather than stand about making hot, buttery bread.

Anyway. This morning I pressed down the toaster lever and it stayed put. Alarmingly, it waited a bit, then perkily popped up two pieces of perfectly browned raisin toast. While I ate with one eyebrow quizzically raised (mostly using my imagination, because I can’t do the eyebrow thing but the eldest has me in training), I noted my distinct sense of unease, then piled the kids in the car for the school run, then proceeded to not start said car.

A long, chilly, long, chilly, long, chilly, long walk to school and back later, followed by a visit from the RACV man and a started car and the small one fancied some raisin toast. Is some sort of weirdy kitchen appliance/automobile sunchronicity-thing possibile? As the car hummed in the driveway, I stood holding down the pesky toaster lever, became lost in all sorts of Twilight Zone-esque theories and presented the toddler with a perfectly burned scrap of toast.

Thursday, I’m ready for you.

32 comments:

crzylady said...

wow.. the electronic gods are not all together pleased at your place it seems. Though I would definitely look into a new toaster. Might appease them and then the car will work fine

june at noon said...

Hmm, suspicious instead. I suppose on any given day you just need to decide which you'd rather do: drive or toast.

Cindy said...

WHY DID YOU NOT RING ME! - that is all.
I could of bought raisin toast too

Claire - Matching Pegs said...

I relate to your toaster problem - not the car thing, but avoiding a new purchase until absolutely necessary.

We had both a pretty crappy toaster and, a celebration of crappyness - a Linda kettle.

Both were wedding presents.

The toaster was slowly dying, but the kettle was kicking on with it's leaky pouring spout, small capacity and sad cord attachment. I actually wanted it to die so that I could justify a purchase of a decent kettle (and the additional contribution to landfill). Finally they both dies within a week of each other, 12 year on from the wedding.

My washing machine died the same year, and the microwave door busted, but we were able to get it repaired.

I now know the average shelf life of electrics around here is 12 years.

Thankfully the Breville jaffle-maker is still limping along. I use it almost daily, and I am not sure if they still make them or only the "cooler" foccacia makers.

Good Luck with the car.

flowerpress said...

I want to know what the RACV man thought of huge bronze pm looking over his shoulder while he fixed the car!!!!

Kate said...

Never, ever ever at our place. Its either all or nothing.

Lola Nova said...

All appliances and vehicles are putting up a brave front over here...it's the body that has a hitch in it's get-along.
As soon as my arm started feel better and I sighed with relief, my knee was assaulted by an angry table causing quite a tumble. My daughter was quick to point out, "There's blood mama, that means you get a band-aid!"

Frog, Goose and Bear said...

Oh, I walked to school this morning also - FREEZING out there at that time of the morning. I feel your pain of having to walk when you had thought you'd be driving - happened to me when I locked the keys in the car one day....

Angie said...

Beware those awful homeware shops as someone I know went into one recently and came out with a toaster that cost the equivalent of a small car! Apparently it does all sorts of things around the general theme of turning bread into toast!

Glad you had some perfectly browned buttery raisin toast in your tum for the long chilly walk.

A M&E shop....when did that appear?...I'm off to finally nab a teatowel!

Fer said...

Is karma trying to tell you something?

Andi said...

Creeeeepy!!

Sandrine said...

OOps that sound a little like my last week...It can only get better and better now:)

One Flew Over said...

Let's just hope tomorrow is warmer x

Cath @ chunkychooky said...

the lights in our house do the same thing. Working, not working, don't get round to changing bulb, it starts working again... weird.

~Carrie from Cottage Cozy~ said...

I just lost my toaster last month...wouldn't stay down either. Got a great new one though....combo toaster/toaster oven!

Little Ted Canvas said...

I'd get a new toaster, quick smart - can't be without golden raisin toast in winter!!

ecoMILF said...

sweet irony. sorry your misfortunes turned to our fortunes- hearing such a funny story. xo m,

Buttons by Lou Lou said...

Very strange, but I'm glad for you that the more expensive thing is the one working again.

Mary said...

ah, if only you could have driven to school in the toaster.

Amy Paul said...

this lead up to winter solstice is giving everyone the shits!
I agree - bring on Thursday.
xx Amy

Tamara said...

Life's like that, some does it just goes pop and other days a slow climb to the top...here's hoping tomorrows a 'toast popper' kind of day....

xt

katiecrackernuts said...

Great story. I think I may have left the grill on.

SmitoniusAndSonata said...

Weetabix is very nourishing .

jolijou said...

Pretending to be incapable so you don't have to do anything! Mr.Toasterman that's a very old trick...

Penny said...

Haven't been for a while and had SO much to catch up on. Had to laugh about the head on the drive. He's amazing, but I can see why he spooked the neighbours. I and now I need toast!

Stomper Girl said...

Your toaster is evil, and you may need an appliance exorcist. I'm just sayin'.

Chicken Willow said...

I hope your toaster doesn't work tomorrow (you know, just so you can drive to school) xx

Nikki said...

Truly spooky. I say you ditch the toaster and enjoy driving to school for the rest of winter. Too cold for that walking business.

Mookah said...

Oh my god! So it's not just me it happens to then? My last 3 toasters (including current one) have had same problem that within 12-18 months the lever thingy won't stay down, so you have to stand there and hold it.

I've cracked it and I'm just going to buy a cheapy this time!

Linda said...

this certainly is weird, the planets are not aligned maybe, but really the truth be known I think all toasters are evil with a mind of their own and plan to take over the world, coz they are all crappy! They just cannot be relied upon!!! porridge with loads of cream and sugar is the answer.
ps I LOVE you teetering idea balance, I think I will teeter from here on in xx

A Peppermint Penguin said...

I've had suspicions for a few weeks that an evil fairy is actually in charge. So proof of an either or between cars and toasters... sounds perfectly reasonable to me!

At least you had all that yummy toast to fortify you on your long chilly long chilly long chilly long walk.

This message is typed on my spare kettle. In my house the thing you can't live without or wait to go buy another one is the kettle, hence you keep a spare in the cupboard. So I have this 'yorkshire' mini PC for "A Rope In Case".

Toaster is not far behind. Ours has a 'bun warmer' that we use to warm the plate whilst toast cooks.

Cheers,
AJ

Tas said...

Cue the theme from "Twilight Zone"...