Monday, July 12, 2010

Hello Again



The unexpected break in transmission was prompted by sudden fatigue at the sound of my own voice. I probably talk as I write (though I’m reliably informed I’m ‘more boring’ in real life), so I thought I’d show quiet restraint here as well. But school’s back today and two out of three children are wearing clean underwear and the kid that isn’t is wearing his bathers underneath his clothes and given he has a swimming lesson straight after school, I’m feeling suitably organised and ready to get back into the crafty, bloggy, swing of things. Tomorrow.

Today is only about four small items of some significance (or non-significance, depending if you are me or not).

1. The middle, (not undie, but bathers-wearing) kid, lost a tooth last week which was promptly swallowed. A note of explanation was dutifully written to the Tooth Fairy. The Tooth Fairy was promptly distracted by other, more pressing school-holiday-stay-in-pyjama-style concerns and only remembered to pay up last night. Bad fairy.

2. On the same day that the tooth went the way of two of its predecessors, the smallest mastered the art of nodding a yes. The kind of nod that does not involve a gross motor skill, whole body, sort of movement. A nod that involves but a tilt of the head. There you have it, the kid ain’t no baby anymore.

3. At the very beginning of the World Cup, a close Dutch friend and I were conversing on the phone and vowed, that in the extraordinarily unlikely event that the Aussies, or more feasibly, the Oranjes, made it to the final, that the other would stay up to barrack. In the Dutch friend’s case this meant a leisurely slump in front of early evening TV. In my case, this meant setting an alarm for four this morning and pretending to come over orange enthusiastic, while the almost oblivious Dutch friend holidayed somewhere in Italy. All I have to show for this is yet another drastic case of eyebags, further confusion over the offside rule, a sneaking suspicion that the Spaniards deserved their victory and certifiable proof that I am a woman of my word.

4. That fish up there is Imposter Eunice* and she is my penance for all kinds of parenting evil. Thou shalt never again, replace a karked** fish in favour of burying and mourning a beloved pet in a rightful fashion. Even if beloved pet is only noticed once karked. Imposter Eunice ate every fish in the tank and grew from 3cm in diameter (not including fin bits) to 10cm in diameter (still not including fin bits). Pets with cannibalistic tendencies are unnerving. Last week there was alarm at the discovery of an extra stick insect and subsequent appalled panic when Camouflaged Twig (that’s his name) proceeded to chew on said extra. Turns out stick insects shed their skins. Then eat ’em. Except for the leg bits which looked a bit on the dry side. Here is Camouflaged Twig in his brand new suit:



And that’s about it for today.

.........................

* Before there was the blog, there were the fish, Myrtle and Eunice. Way before there were the fish, there were those two lovely ladies, Myrtle and (Nana) Eunice.

** Dead as a doornail. Pushing up daisies. Or in this instance feeding the worm farm.

29 comments:

Cath @ chunkychooky said...

jeez- I am glad we are not the only ones with ginormous goldfish that grew out of the tank and had to be relaocated to a larger tank with a friends goldfish the size of a small whale.... we have alos had cannabalistic tendancies but we kept it quiet fearing it was our fault in some way...

june at noon said...

Oh, so nice to have you back. I, for one, missed your voice. :)

I am not a fan of fish OR stick insects, so I must now leave to shiver with the heebie jeebies for a while.

Sue said...

We had 2 goldfish once, Sushi and Shashimi, who would take turns to die! It's like filling a sock with water to replace them!

Copper Patch said...

I hope he's got jocks to put on after swimming coz wet togs on the trip home are no fun :o)

Tas said...

Wow, it is all happening at your house. My eldest son lost his first tooth last year while running around like a maniac at Whitewater World...yet still managed to present it to me for financial redemption with the tooth fairy.
And I agree- I dislike cannibalistic tortoises for the same reasons so I'm hearing you on the fish thing!

Bellgirl said...

I find goldfish a very expensive pet because we have to keep replacing them. It was in fact only at the last death that I thought I probably should be arranging a funeral rather than sneakily dumping it into the compost in the middle of the night.

Actually this only occured to me becaue I was told they had a funeral for their cabbage-moth caterpillar (courtesy of my vegetable garden) at childcare ;)

Kylie said...

Never boring at your place Mrs ;) That Camouflaged Twig is seriously scary looking! That was the thing that really freaked me out when we returned to Australia - all these weird insects that I could have sworn weren't here during my childhood! Was there some secret nuclear testing at some point that spawned all these novelties?
You are indeed a woman of your word. Kids at school means you could have a nana-nap? I was barracking for Spain I have to admit - so excited they won... but yes, I googled the highlights this morning at a more reasonable hour ;)
Have a great week :) Kx

SmitoniusAndSonata said...

There were Praying Mantises(es) in Spain and I never took to them ... something about that beady look in their eyes ....
But Stick Insect is a different kettle of fish , very cheery little chap in his new russet skin . It must be the loving care Middle Child gives him .

And as for football . Let's draw a veil over the Dutch showing . The vuvuzelas all round town were deafening before the match . Nary a one by half-time .
The best side won .

Thea said...

Thanks for the giggle. Your cannabilistic goldfish reminds me of one my friend used to have - he was appropriately named "Fatso" and was always in a lonely fishbowl as he ate all his companions. A bit sad when food matters more than friends. x

Fer said...

Still entertaining as ever!

Little Ted Canvas said...

I miss the slow moving jammie days already...

A Peppermint Penguin said...

I'm certain you couldn't be boring if you tried. And certainly not with your entourage around!

1. I thought the Tooth Fairy left the moola in *exchange* for the tooth? I don't see how it's part of the Tooth Fairy's contract to have to go sewer diving to get the goods, so being late - well she could have just not turned up at all!

2. Grown up, indeed, but more - she is *agreeing* to stuff?!

3. Above and beyond. Dedicated Loyal Friend, 's'wot you are.

4. Nature red in tooth and claw. Lovely. Circle of Life, life lessons and one *very* tolerant mummy.

Glad to hear from you, anytime, on any subject - you waffle away dear.

Cheers,
AJ

flowerpress said...

That tooth fairy can be very forgetful, in her defence she has a lot of teeth to collect.
I like that fish, very pretty. And all those fish oil capsules are doing wonders for his scales ;-)

ecoMILF said...

I must admit that fish does look awfully scary. Congratulations on two signs of growing children- next thing you know it'll be girlfriends and parties. And yes, good on your for sticking to your word. There's no way I would have. But then again I would never have come to such an agreement- way too lazy and pregnant for such risks! xo m.

Nikki said...

I was just about to send you one of those tentative "you alright?" emails... I see you had lots on your plate, what with fish and stick insects multipyling and dividing and kids nodding.

Nothing quite so interesting happening over this way.

teddybearswednesday said...

I love you Tania, I do. xo

heather said...

i get bored of my own voice too. i go around deleting recent blog posts when i do. mmmmm. that twig guy is so cool. we've been watching the life series (you know, narrated by oprah) at home lately with the kids. i am in love with all the random random life forms here on our planet. out in your neck of the woods are these creatures i never knew existed till last night, the sea dragons. have you heard of these? oh they are awesome. and so are you. you are a pretty rare life form!! love. h

Gina said...

Truly, you are hilarious. Except, of course, in person, when you are a down-right bore.

Karen said...

Ok that stick-insect-thingy is creeping me out - to say nothing of your carnivorous fish???!!!
So, um, does your friend really believe you got up??

Miss Sew & So said...

i just love time with you!!
my smile is a mile wide and the laughter is seriously out VERY loud!!
melissa xx
p.s i can't seem to master the off-side rule either!! if you get it - let me know...

Madeline said...

:0 We had a few cannibalistic pets way back in the day...definitely unnerving.
Gorgeous stick critter....very fancy.

Lola Nova said...

Ah, good on you for team support and at least the tooth fairy eventually paid up.
We returned from holiday to find the chooks had eaten all the blueberries within pecking range and that the aquatic frogs (not sure which one) had learned to escape the fish tank. It was only discovered when Buddha Cat was found in twitchy tail pose about to have a hoppy snack. Once frog was returned to his abode and performed a spastic ballet of sorts, I thought maybe he was performing his swan song, but no, he is still alive and kicking.

Daan said...

Oof that was an early morning or short night ;-)

welcome back, hooray for crafty and bloggy again!

Daan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Stomper Girl said...

I only got up for extra time - which was fine because that was when it all happened. Mr Fixit has the ruched eyebags though!

I'm impressed at the nodding. I don't know what it is but babies are so good at NO and much lazier about YES. So the nodding is good!

quirkygranolagirl said...

oh good. we have the full body nods so big that he tips over from a seated position. he's still a baby by your rule, then. whew.
and that stick bug freaks me out. i'm not ready for a boy big enough to want one of those in the house.

Di said...

Funnily enough this weekend when S once again mooted the idea of a fish tank (and promised he would do all the cleaning etc... Do I believe him?) I found myself wondering if I could convince him that stick insects would be a better idea....
(ps, I always thought you weren't supposed to feed worms protein... although I guess a little bit of fish wouldn't upset the whole farm ecosystem)

Lauren said...

welcome back! I love the way you write about your family...and your calmness about undies and washed clothes! you give good perspective for me on these issues...I'm yet to deal with (in terms of kids)! x

elly bee said...

thanks for barracking for the oranje. it is a pity they failed, but is was not due to you. You are a friend who keeps her word, and I'm a lazy unreliable one, sitting an ear away from a too hot italian camping bar where the football could be watched indoor.

Next time the Aussies are in any final at what time so ever I will barack for them (promised)!
eb