Tuesday, August 3, 2010
And so was I. The fate of a bazillion granny circle-in-a-squares, last seen sporadically, patchily, warming anklebiters and inevitably destined for an unjoined, disadvantaged future, frequenting forgotten corners of an abandoned linen press or lurking alongside dust bunnies in ne’er swept corners of a drafty, possibly haunted house. Non?
There’s been quite a spurt of action and if I type fast and without punctuation the enthusiasm may not yet wane so keep up with me while I update you on the extraordinary news that of the bazillion grannies I can confirm that twenty now have woven-in-ends and approximately HALF did you get that HALF have been crocheted together using a flat braid join and can I just say that end weaving in became so incredulously boring that I momentarily but seriously considered the procrastinatory ironing of an item of clothing. With pleats. Shocking.
Three items worthy of note:
I will pay anyone almost anything (possibly even the beloved stick insects) to weave in eight ends per square at a bazillion squares minus the twenty completed (which, let’s face it, is the merest drop in the ocean).
No one should ever – not even twenty years hence through my rose-coloured tintery– let me pretend that this project was ever a joy. Except maybe for that bit at the very start when it was fabulous car craft and effectively distracted me from backseat driving tendencies which may explain why the Mr seems disarmingly encouraging about this one – certainly more so than the Friday crocheting of rock bikinis.
As far as I can tell, I have made every mistake under the sun. From these mistakes there has been learning. There has been the undertaking of vows:
Vow A. Thou shalt not use splitty cotton for anything again, not even a scarf for a gnat, regardless of nice shiny colours and non-itch factoring.
Vow B. Thou shalt step back after square number one and objectively analyse whether a smaller (slippery-er) hook should be used before, as opposed to after, the production of a bazillion prototypes.
Vow C. Thou shalt weave in those bloody* ends (eight per square) as one goes, rather than declare it ‘swimming lesson’ (not mine) craft at the very bitter and pointy end (now) and endure exuberant child splashing, non hook glide due to wet cotton and the general waft of chemical chlorine for future all-sensory snuggling delight.
Vow D. Thou shalt join as one goes, rather than upon completion of aforementioned bazillion, which would naturally entail the crocheting of a whole additional round for each granny and only THEN achieving some joinery.
Vow E. Thou shalt consider the merits of shagpile at the beginning, rather than squintily convince self and household of that certain je ne sais quoi and so cop the second ever, as blindingly good as the first, eight year old eye roll.
* I’ve not blasphemed in a post before and believe this to be particularly mild all things considered.
nb. The circle-in-a-square pattern was initially inspired from here, but we know where this got me, don’t we?