Monday, May 2, 2011

Meet Gary. My Tattooist.



Today I walked into a tattoo parlour, looking like any other just-turned forty year old woman, in the midst of a mid-life crisis. I took my tattoo design with me...



Gary was very kind. He put me at my ease, pointing out that Chapel Tattoo is Health Department approved...



and that all tattoos are Done With Electricity...



(which I presume is a good thing).

Gary assured me that the whole procedure wouldn’t hurt much – at least not as much as a drug-free labour and birth, although bottom tattoos tend to be a bit ‘bitey’.

Then Gary batted not one eye at my bizarre request and prepared to draw the Great Mid-Life Crisis Giveaway winner...

(the entries):



And voilà!



(Here’s a closer look):



Congratulatories to TAS!

Please email me your details (including book choice) and I’ll ensure everything is quick-sticks headed in your direction.

Thank you to everybody who entered (and provided much-needed, aged therapy). Thank you to Gary for your good sportedness. When I’m eighty and have summoned up the tattoo-ed nerve, I’ll be back.

51 comments:

Frog, Goose and Bear said...

That is hilarious!! I'm devastated that I didn't win, but I am laughing so hard at the lengths that you have gone to for an amusing blog post! You really had me there for most of that post thinking that you'd gone and got it tattoes on your butt!

Tas said...

Gosh. Wow. Yay. Woohoo. It is enough to make me want to go out a get a great big tattoo somewhere... give Gary a big cuddle for me!

mel @ loved said...

Oh WOW!! I really thought you were going to do it for a miniute there! Brilliant way to make the draw, well done TAS & well done to Gary, I'd have loved to be there when you asked him to pick a winner, hilarious..

rachelmp said...

Love it!

Jackie @ craftonmymind said...

Fantastic, I'm still chuckling! You had me scrolling down to see if his needlework was as good as yours!

Vic said...

How cool is Gary? If I ever want to get a tattoo I'll be looking him up, for an electrified tattoo no less.

Yay TAS!!!!

flowerpress said...

You are a legend! Officially!!!
I love the old signage. Very inspiring. And I love Gary, he'll have a good story to tell the wife.

Kylie said...

OH.YOU.TEASE!!!!!!!! You really had me going there :) Congratulations Tas. Kc

A Peppermint Penguin said...

You had me completely convinced you'd gorn and done it!

There is a tattoo parlour a couple of doors down from my favourite wool shop/café. Handy!

Congrats to the winner.

cheers,
AJ

Stomper Girl said...

I am pretty disappointed that you didn't actually get the tatt, you know. Also that Gary didn't pick me.

Selina said...

Damn! I thought for sure we were going to see your tattooed butt! Maybe see you in ten years?!

Cathy {tinniegirl} said...

Ha ha, for a minute there ...

OohLookBel said...

Oh dear, a tramp stamp would have been just the thing to blow away the 40s cobwebs. Well, maybe not... Thanks for making me smile =D

JoeyNomad said...

My heart stopped for about 3 minutes then. On the other hand... it would have been KIND of awesome.

Anna Bartlett said...

You are a classic!

Sue said...

It nearly worked...I thought you'd handed over the "clean skin" look for a minute or two!

dixiebelle said...

I was coming to tell you that tattoos on the butt do not hurt as much as tattoos on the foot, but guess you don't need that advice after all!! Love the photos though...

Congrat's to the winner, & thank you, you are a generous, amusing middle aged person! ;)

Scented Sweetpeas said...

That must be the best prize draw I have ever seen lol , just look at that chaps beard - fantastic!

Squiggly Rainbow said...

So funny, you are hilarious! I thought it was for real too. A classic! Have been thinking of you of late - thing we may be birds of a feather!
Rach x

Shannon said...

Holy smacking dogshit I actually thought you were gonna do it!
You can always be counted on for a smile, or a belly laugh.

Rie said...

Gary's awesome! Gary needs his own blog post.... Gary by Gary!

Michelle said...

See I had always thought that a tatoo on the but would be fairly painless as that is where I have the most padding....

By the way, best giveaway draw ever!!!!

CurlyPops said...

Tee hee... I think I might love Gary. He is so darn cute and such a good sport!

Chantal said...

Brilliant post. Absolutely brilliant. Love it :D

Mama of 2 boys said...

Haha, love this Tania. I'm so disappointed you didn't get the tatt. Next time ;o)
As someone who has a tattoo on her... ahem... derriere (high up, almost the lower back)... it stings a little, but DEFINITELY drug free labour kills it! I think all the fat deposits on the old backside, cushion the needle.
Gary looks like a sweetheart!

yardage girl said...

Jeeeez - I thought you were actually going to get one too - you so should! That would be legendary.

Duyvken said...

Love it! What a great sport.

Liam's Mummy said...

hahaha - you're a crack-up :D

Andi said...

I actually thought you'd had it done.
You are a complete crack up madam!!
xx

peppermintpatcher said...

I bet he's disappointed that he missed that opportunity. (I remember that perky photo modelling Jodie's craft camp undies...)

teddybearswednesday said...

CHICKEN!!!! It really doesn't hurt that much, it's a bit like an concentrated leg wax.
when you're 80 I'll be there to holf yout hand xo

teddybearswednesday said...

PS I think Gary's is wear I got my nose pierced. does he do piercings too? xo

june at noon said...

Oh, Tania. Poor Gary didn't know what he was in for, did he?

Vireya said...

Thanks for the laugh! What a brilliant post.

Tammi said...

Haha, this post is classic!! and Gary is such a good sport.
x

Leonie said...

How did you get him to do that? Is he a friend? That is just tooooo dammmm funny!!!

Oh...we love gary, can he come back again and play?

Kirsty said...

Just most excellent!

Kate said...

Do you know, I am seriously, seriously considering getting a tattoo based off of that design - I have been since you first posted it. Except I can't decide WHERE to get it. And mine is going to say 'make stuff' and maybe be stabbed with a knitting needle instead of an arrow.

I'll let you know if I ever get around to it!

Lucy said...

ha ha ha
brilliant!

Tracey said...

oh, you had me going there...Good on ya, Gaza

beck said...

Go Gazza! x

beck said...

And yay for Tas! x

Fer said...

You. Are. Priceless. ♥

Lucky Tas too!

Mary said...

Yay for Tas and you are a big chicken Tania!

quirky granola girl said...

Gary is a good sport! and you are too funny. :)

Posie Patchwork said...

What wonderful PR for tattoo parlours everywhere, OMG, are they called parlours, am i so not a tattooed person (not yet in midlife crisis mode, so need to research, i have 4 more years!!)
Giggles, lucky Tas, love Posie

floatingink said...

Somehow I got myself roped into a deal with my 17 year old daughter that when I turn 60 and she turns 23 (i.e., in 6 years) we're going to go together and get tattoos. A friend of mine is a brilliant tattoo artist and he's made us promise we'll come to him.

Please don't make us all wait until you're 80--that's eons from now! :)

Sherrin said...

I Love this! Your post gave me a good smile! Hooray for your tatt! - and Happy Birthday!

Tricia said...

Hilarious!! I bet you made Gary's day :-)

Cindy said...

Seriously somedays I am reminded by how absolutely fabulous you are! I would so do your tat

handmade romance said...

haha tricked me! gary's beard is FANTASTIC!