HEAD IN HANDS REASON #1
Smallest Child Declares to Kinder Teacher:
“AT MY HOUSE WE’RE SICK OF SEX!”
Later translated at kinder pick-up by mother of Smallest Child (me):
“AT MY HOUSE WE HAVE STICK INSECTS!”
HEAD IN HANDS REASON #2
At morning tea, Kinder Teacher regales children with stories of her dog. Smallest Child declares that she too, has a worthy dog story:
“SOMETIMES MY DAD PUTS ON A RUBBER GLOVE AND SQUEEZES OUR DOG’S ANAL GLAND!”
Kinder Teacher pushes away her plate of hummus and rice cake and is forced to define ‘anal gland’ to 23 kinder children.
HEAD IN HANDS REASON #3
Smallest Child campaigns to teacher for an Adventure outside the kinder. Smallest Child is emphatic that Adventure involves scouring streets in search of roadside finds “LIKE WHAT MUM AND DAD DOES EVERY DAY!”
In the defence of the Smallest Child’s parents (who do not ‘scour’ but merely keep an ‘eye out’), the Smallest Child has been enjoying the use of a roadside violin find. Currently played as a three-stringed cello.
Recently valued at a surprising, (for a roadside find), $1200.