Friday, October 5, 2012

Dizzy Around the Edges

Throw an emergency my way – particularly a medically-themed one – and without missing a heart beat You Can Count On Me. Calm, capable, clear-thinking, efficient, methodical: that’s ME!

Except...not any longer. Last Thursday, it became evident I have acquired too much traumatic, bloodied history under the belt.

I am no fainting type. Last Thursday I turned a whiter shade of pale and felt a tiny bit dizzy around the edges. I gladly accepted the role of ‘support act’ to the Mr’s competent ‘lead’.

List of Traumatic Bloodied History (All Weirdly Occurring on Holidays) With Two Faint-Inducing Links
1. A couple of weeks before the birth of our second kid, my Mr made an impressive attempt at severing his thumb with a circular saw. I was on maternity leave. (So I guess it wasn’t a real, official-type ‘holiday’).

2. My nearly-two-year-old Small attempted to permanently sever her finger in the cog of a bicycle wheel. (I feel a bit dizzy even typing that). It was the Easter holidays.

3. Then there was the unmentionable incident involving the poor, unfortunate groin and the slamming rabbit hutch lid. That was the Christmas holidays.

4. These school holidays I bring you the next trip to the Emergency ward...


...Involving a wrong-way-up Swiss Army Knife, an impaled hand, some frantic arm-waving-about, eventual removal of a blade and an impressive, back-garden-covering, splattering of blood.

No tendons involved – HOW LUCKY IS THAT? Wound healing pretty well now, thank you for asking. 

Mother of child booked in for twice weekly appointments with therapist to address issues of sustained and repeated trauma and the fact that she has unexpectedly morphed into One Great Big Wimp. She also currently feels a little overwhelmed at the sighting of red food colouring.

.........................

PS. Yes. Of course I would really, really like it if the Middle Kid sat quietly inside and read a book for the remainder of the school holidays, avoiding all objects with impaling potential.

PPS. Instead he’s back to the now meticulous, painfully careful use of his Swiss Army Knife, (while his mother helicopters irritatingly overhead).

PPPS. School’s back on Monday. Thank ye Gods.

24 comments:

Bree said...

We have only just had our first major spillage of blood and I go into uber cool efficient mother-nurse mode. It was just claret from the nose tho. I think if it had been a gaping wound I may not have been so ice cool. Although I was with my Granny one day when she gashed her arm and had major blood and I was pretty cool then too.

Cathy {tinniegirl} said...

You have certainly had more than your share of medical dramas. My goodness.

Lovely to see you back on the blog though.

Cinnamon said...

If you DIDN'T feel that you needed to see a therapist after all those incidents, then I would start to worry. Hang in there mama!

Naturally Carol said...

I hope your nerves are not so shot that helicopter mother doesn't want to do a quick reconnaisance of said school for sharp or potential objects of impalement! I wonder whether a kind of holiday superstition has been born with these events.

mel @ loved handmade said...

Oh GEEZ!! I ho

mel @ loved handmade said...

Wasn't meant to publish yet! As I was saying, I hope his wound heals nice and quick, what a lucky boy! That would have tipped me over the edge for sure. I'm unexplainably calm in crisis and emergency, I've a list a mile long but ill spare you, I do break down in a shaky teary freak out mess when it's all over though..x

Flaming Nora said...

That is making me go a bit wibbly just imagining it. Hurrah for the end of the holidays!

Jenny from Ohjoh said...

OUCH!

sharon said...

I had to walk out and take some deep breaths when summonsed to school for a broken (very obvious) arm, no blood thank goodness! I think I am fine when it happens, just the after part I get about pale and wobbly around the edges!

Fiona said...

Oh Lordy, it reminds me of our own catalogue of holiday blood lettings! Well done for getting through - it's only natural to be freaked when our babies are bleeding profusely!

A Peppermint Penguin said...

another reason I'm glad I'm nobody's mother.

wow. Major lucky on the tendons.

therapy? at the very least.

Sarah said...

Oh poor you. Some nasty accidents there. Amazing how kids don't have any fear...back playing with the army knife straight away.

S said...

My job involves (often lots of) blood but i still go at bit wobbly and the knees and very panicky if someone I love is bleeding profusely. Bring on Monday indeed! xx (little lie down and a nice glass of gin?)

teddybearswednesday said...

Oh lord! xo

Stomper Girl said...

Poor lad, poor you! I don't blame you for feeling faint.

june at noon said...

Oh, dear. I'm feeling a little fuzzy now, just reading it all. Glad it wasn't worse....

ZippyZippy said...

You've definately had your share of casualties in your family, the guinnea pig cage read was a funny one!
Still 2 days of holidays - good luck

SmitoniusAndSonata said...

As holiday traditions go , this wasn't perhaps the best choice .
May I suggest a picnic on the beach* or a museum trip , in the future ?
* with plastic cutlery and paper plates , just to be on the safe side .

BOB & MABEL said...

Oh no, thats pretty impressive. I am able to cope if there is not another adult around and i somehow manage to "man up". However, when the husband is around and we have an injury I go to jelly.

Duyvken said...

Oh no! Mr Duyvken had an incident with a motorist while riding home last week and needed surgery to repair two fractures in his hand, he has a wire sticking out of his knuckle at the moment that is basically holding things in place while they heal. I certainly can't look at it, I can barely think about it.
And those Wimpy Kid books are wonderful, my 7yo has been motoring through them and is also up to Cabin Fever like your lad in the photo.
Wishing you all well and may all future injuries be emotional!

cityhippyfarmgirl said...

It would be lovely sometimes, if we could wrap them up in a bubble, pop them on a shelf for all to love and admire and leave it at that... much safer I'm sure of it.
My four year old fell into a duck pond this school holidays... a big one, (can't swim much either. ) Mama ran very fast.

Hope that hand heals quickly.

cityhippyfarmgirl said...

It would be lovely sometimes, if we could wrap them up in a bubble, pop them on a shelf for all to love and admire and leave it at that... much safer I'm sure of it.
My four year old fell into a duck pond this school holidays... a big one, (can't swim much either. ) Mama ran very fast.

Hope that hand heals quickly.

Suse said...

You need to get yourself some new holiday traditions, woman.

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