Monday, October 15, 2012

Randomly Mused


ONE
For obvious reasons, I always look before I empty the Middle Kid’s pockets. I always do a quick reconnaissance, before I touch anything inside his school bag. I thought we’d hit an all-time EW! high, when I spotted the DEAD BIRD LYING AT THE BOTTOM OF THE SCHOOL BAG.



He said he collected the interesting piece of wood because it looked like a vulture. He has his eye out for two of the same in complementary sizings, so that we can arrange all three on the wall, in duck-like fashion.

TWO
I have an addiction to frozen blueberries. I cannot stop. I do an excellent impression of a Blue Tongued Lizard. The kids are mortified and keep warning me about the legend of the great aunt who turned bright orange from eating too many carrots. (She really, really did).



THREE
The Small drew a cockatoo on the wall. The Small scrubbed at the cockatoo and said it wouldn’t come off. Secretly I like the cockatoo. 


Secretly I am collecting roadside-find picture frames. I plan to paint the empty frames white and mount them on a wall. Then there will be an open invitation to draw artful, direct-to-wall things. I also quite like the notion of a champagne-fuelled gallery launch.

FOUR
Jodie and Sarah’s Mum wanted an update on the state of the Dinosaur Egg. I am very sorry, Jodie and Sarah’s Mum, for the disappointing and hard-to-grasp imagery. A jungly garden seems to have grown around the Dinosaur Egg and there is no longer a clear line of sight. For three weeks during a wet, wet winter it looked doilied and verdant. Until a fungal affliction struck and the verdant was replaced with white spots. The white spots have eaten away at the doily bits. As far as a doilied, Jurassic-type Dinosaur Egg goes, it looks extra convincing.




PS. Jodie and Sarah’s Mum, if you are considering a stab at mossy creations, might I forewarn that success seems to depend on a truckload of commitment. It’s like keeping an ever-thirsty pet (don’t even think about a holiday).

PPS. Worthy of note is a distinct lack of green in either of my thumbs.


FIVE
The eldest has adopted a parsnip as a pet. This is Phillippa. I note Phillippa seems to be wearying of the experience and would probably prefer to be baked.



SIX
A Well Known Magazine published one of my patterns and forgot to ask permission. The Well Known Television Version of the Magazine filmed their own version of my tutorial and forgot to ask permission. I sent them an invoice. I emailed an invoice chase-up. Invoice was paid. Sometimes it’s all about the principle.

SEVEN
I am overusing the word ‘snazzy’. ‘Spiffy’ seems to creep in occasionally too. The other day, a youngish client asked me to make a poster design look ‘sexy’. But I am 41 and obviously nearly ancient. And I have a constantly weird-coloured tongue from too many blueberries. I can do snazzy posters, but ‘sexy’ is patently well beyond reach.

Hope you’ve had a SNAZZY start to your week!

41 comments:

trash said...

Nifty work there Missus.

sascedar said...

loving the secret squirrel art gallery project. not sure it would fly in our rental, but love it anyway ;) and way to go on the invoice. have a sexy week ;)sarah

anna said...

was invoice payment conditional on a confidentiality clause... or is lack of detail more to do with lack of publicity on principle?

brownhairblueribbon said...

gasp, I saw that segment (we often watch & laugh at some of the stuff they do)and I said to my sister that they reminded me VERY much of yours.. Good on you for the invoice - snazzy work?

The parsnip is adorable and I think the middle's pockets should be a weekly feature.

Bree said...

Holy crap!! Nice work. Hope it was a large invoice.

Michelle said...

Go you! On the invoice, on the parenting of obviously very creative kids. You're an inspiration!

CurlyPops said...

Wow well done on number 6. More power to you!!!!

The Foggy Knitter said...

My grandmother told me that when my dad was about 4 she would sometimes find live snails in his pockets...

Have you considered writing/painting things on the ceiling too? There are various restaurants here where regular patrons have done that.

**Anne** said...

I'm GLAD you billed them!!!!
Love the wooden bird treasure. What an imaginative kid you have.
Anne xx

yardage girl said...

On point 6 ~ Bravo!
x

Jane said...

I love this post. And on realising that alone sounds like a spam comment to be followed by dodgy weblink, I will specifically add that I think the dinosaur egg looks really cool in an unexpected way.

A Peppermint Penguin said...

I give up, that's twice blogger has eaten my comment.

Just assume it was really witty and very important.

Cinnamon said...

Can't stop laughing at the parsnip, Phillippa. Off to rummage around in my vegetable crisper in search of a carrot with similar personality.

liniecat said...

Love that bird lol ducks on the wall suck........far better to have wooden wonders!
Nice one with the invoice but appalling that they considered themselves above the moral and legal law! May whoever made the decision to plagiarize, get painful piles!

Now snazzy and spiffy seem perfectly explananatory to me....lol
Fun post, made me chuckle no end, thanks!

Jenny from Ohjoh said...

I love that you "took it to the man'! and got your snazzy money!
That is the most random piece of bark ever. Like, you know. (That's young person speak, apparently, which translates to" Wow, what a freaky piece of bark")
Always enjoy reading your snazzy bits lady, thanks!
Jenny

librarygirl said...

Tania, you and your family have so much creativity and art in you it is inspiring: so much to enjoy and wonder about with this post.
I do like Miss parsnip. My big girl, who never played with dolls, had a butternut pumpkin we drew a face on - she wrapped it in a baby blanket and it was her baby for months. what is it about girls and vegetables?

Nikki said...

Oh, I wholeheartedly subscribe to the school of SNAZZY and SPIFFY. In fact, I think I may have used one of those words n my recent bloggy ramblings.

And yep... I think I'll be adopting those kids of yours very soon. Love them.

And big air punches on the invoice payment. You're a dynamo!

SmitoniusAndSonata said...

Only you could have a Dinosaur Egg with Tamagotchi tendencies .
Middle child's eye for a "green" flying duck is excellent , by the way . I can see the collection expanding exponentialy .
It's so good to see you all back !

mel @ loved handmade said...

That son of yours is GOLD! I love your idea of the wall art, how fabulous, and not at all impressed by the stealing patterns bit, what a cheek!!
What is with the word 'sexy' at the moment?? I hear people use it to describe the most inappropriate non sexy things! For instance, I have to share, I heard a parent compliment their child's ART WORK saying what a sexy dinosaur (or something), how does that fit? Baffled I am..x

Kirsty said...

So much good stuff here that my brain is about to explode.

BUT they paid??!! YOU ARE MY HERO.

emma @ frog, goose and bear said...

I love that you just sent an invoice and i love even more that they paid - good on you!!!!!!!!! The cheek of them just using it without permission!

You can tell your kids that my mother & her hubby also went orange from eating too many carrots - absolutely true! I have a photo of my eldest daughter in the hospital when she was first born looking overcooked and very red next to grandma who looked very orange, who was next her severely aneamic very white looking great grandma! All from the same fam.

Annie @ knitsofacto said...

Not such a snazzy start to the week, but the weekend was jolly spiffy, thank you.

I will take the pet parsnip over the pet tarantula we have here just now (overnighting with us while a friend is away ... just hoping nothing delays her return!).

Suse said...

Holy hell, they just took your pattern, then filmed their own version? That is unbelievable. Good on your for sending them an invoice.

Do you eat the blueberries still frozen? Or thaw them first. My mister eats them frozen while the rest of us look on in shivery bemusement.

june at noon said...

So many randomly wonderful things to see here! I love the idea of having a parsnip friend around. It's better than the potato friend that my daughter keeps asking for (after watching Small Potatoes online).

(So glad you made them make good on the "borrowing" bit,, too.)

The Librarians said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sarah said...

DAMN about the egg... There is lots of stuff on the net about moss creations etc - hummmm

SIx - I hope you charged them a morgage worth...

Spiffy week to you!

Pétra said...

Congratulations on standing up for your pattern rights!! I'm sad to hear about the dinosaur egg but I still like how it looks.

Jackie @ Fred-and-Cissy said...

Am now feeling guilty about the frame I decided I couldn't be bothered painting. Put it in the bin last night. I have a feeling it might have made it back into the house by tomorrow night when I take the bins out.

On a more positive note, good on you invoice-wise. I love Phillippa's pigtails - perhaps you could dye the parsnip orange and enter it into the "weird carrot" competition at my son's school fete (no offense Phillippa!).

pip lincolne said...

They should know WAY better, right? NOT cool at all. Well done you on getting a result. x

Wedding dresses said...

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Umatji said...

got to love a list, especially one that includes parsnip, bumping the big fellas and dead birds.
my stars you are fine lady!

Fer said...

You're not just snazzy, you're a dead set legend! (as well as your children)

trishie said...

That piece of wood really does look like a vulture! I love the idea of hanging empty frames on the wall and inviting your kids to draw in them. You are one cool mom.

That parsnip makes for one cool pet.

trishie said...

BTW just letting you know i'm hosting a giveaway at the moment, hope you enter: http://www.underlockandkeyblog.com/2012/10/flora-beauty-giveaway.html

Captain Crafty said...

Over here we check pockets for acorns, once two acorns set free from a pocket in the washing machine became lodged in the innards and began to grow into a TREE, the repairman was quite animated when he produced the washing machine parts complete with oak roots and leaves!

An acupuncturist once told me I should stop eating bowls of frozen blueberries - I told her we should see other people, goodbye acupuncturist.

Perhaps you should have sent a job application with the invoice seeing as no one in charge of ideas on said magazine/show can come up with anything original


pandchintz said...

Thanks for the giggle!

Stomper Girl said...

The Well-Known mag and teev show should most certainly have known better. They were probably relieved to just receive an invoice, rather than a lawsuit!

I love the idea of the frames on the wall. Kid art is so ace.

Angus in Northcote said...

I thought you didn't like paperwork?

I love that you emailed a follow up invoice to the (*^&ers.

BEWARE THE MUMMY BLOGGER!

If you haven't watched last night's Media Watch, you should look at it on iView when you've got a sec.

Kylie Hunt said...

Wooo lady... I cannot now recall nearly a single word... except spiffy of course (love that word). So many snazzy things being made and achieved and found and created here. Love that you invoiced sneaky craft thieves but take back the name-calling because they have absolutely redeemed themselves. Kx

p.s. which mag/TV show? which pattern?

Lauren said...

:) good on you for sending them an invoice!

K said...

Trying to figure out how to put this. Was watching the US ice skating championships last night (by accident), and filled right up with wonder when they did those spinny-fountainy things in situ. Kind of like watching a zeotrope. You kind of remind me that - all these clever, intellectually agile bits you throw out so fast, it all becomes a sort of cheeky dance. Why can't I do that? I wanna do that. When I was 41, I couldn't do it. No surprise, then, I suppose, that i still can't. I think clever is the one thing I seriously regret not have been blessed with. Good thing people like you strut it for the general edification and delight of us masses. And sending the invoice - no drama, just justice. And it worked.
How deeply satisfying.